Who is your Daddy?

The Pakistani nation has gone deaf, blind, maimed and retarded. Its not a bad thing because thats what we teach our young in schools and in community to aspire to. This is what we actually wanted. And the funny thing is that we still try to pretend to understand whats going down - as if we still have a sliver of sanity not touched by the perpetual amnesia that plagues us all. The inconsistencies of our selves are obvious, reiterated and reaffirmed each day. Just so that we can make believe that they are normal and that our identity is not based on a lie.

“Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.” - Adolf Hitler

I quote him here because he is the rightful father of the nation for Pakistan in my opinion. Now I will not elaborate on why I say that because last time I checked logic does not really fly in Pakistan. In fact its not needed. Suffice to say is that if it was not for WW2 and Japan entering Burma - Gandhi and Jinnah would have been nothing more than two more school boys fighting. Names chewed up and spit out by time. The war of independence or in British terms ‘mutiny’ proved that our masters could have and would have killed as many as they needed to pacify the urges for integrity that seldom arise in our people. It was Hitler who convinced them that colonizing India was no longer practical.

And lets talk about Jinnah our father. Who supposedly secured this ‘Fort of Islam’. A guy who never prayed in life, never wore cultural clothes - except for a few speeches (delivered in English) and perhaps the picture he had taken for Pakistanis to hang in their offices and print on their money. He could not communicate to the people he represented cause he did not speak their language, did not like traveling or probably being put in the same room as the dirty smelly masses. If I remember correctly he did not even stay in the sub-continent much. Its almost like saying that Balawal (son of ambiguous father) Bhutto/Zardari is fit to lead the Pakhtunistan movement that is budding in Pakistan.

But it took me years to realize this simple plain fact that stares at any one who looks at this region objectively. And when I ask myself why the only answer I can come up with is that as a kid the way Jinnah was represented to me in school and by elders was almost like mystical figure. I remember thinking that after Prophet Mohammed, Jinnah was probably the most pious Muslim around and that he did Muslims - translate us Pakistani’s - the greatest favor of our lives. The only picture of him I had access to as a child did not help dispel these lies. A cap and sherwani can get you a long way in Pakistan.

But how did it happen? Apparently his cohort Iqbal planted the idea into his mind. And we all know Iqbal is the greatest Pakistani poet. He came up with the hallo-ed vision for freedom - round about the same time he was getting drunk of his ass and was killing whores in the red light area of Lahore. I can almost see it now. Jinnah and Iqbal siting on a terrace like European bred frat boys, enlightened, drinking and thinking - about how they were could lead the ignorant masses and if rapping them was the right way to go. Finally they reach a decision. They would use the two nation theory. Advocated by the biggest apologist to the colonial masters - Sir Sayeed Ahmed Khan. A guy who was mentally colonized to the extent that his name managed to morph his title and his race into one. He is commonly known as Sirsayeed. Sir and Sayeed combined as a single name used by the Pakistani masses. Can you see the Irony. He managed to glue Sir with Sayeed.

So after deciding their plan of action our boys called upon a guy who could help make this happen. His highness Nawabzada Liaqat Ali Khan. Again notice the privileged noble lineage, the suits, an Oxford degree and whats that? A cap just like Jinnah! Anyways they got together and took credit for creating the ‘Fort of Islam’ away from Hitler. And then things got even more interesting.

Now Again I will not elaborate but its safe to say that a healthy tradition of storytelling exists in Pakistan that links Liaqat to the death or murder of the our father Jinnah. We have all heard the broken down ambulance story that was sent to the daddy of this nation. But even Liaqat was not immune to the game they had been playing. He was shot down. Shaheed-e-Millat. I wonder why? He was such a nice guy. He was our leader. It was a new state. We had spilled our blood for it. We wanted him to lead us - the sheep. Then where did the wolf come from? India? Our Agencies? Political rivals? Its a mystery parallel to the assassination for JFK. Only difference is that maybe JFK was actually doing something worthwhile. Anyways Liaqat died and left us with the issue of the Durand line. One of the reasons we are having the Pashtun uprising today. After all they were a part of Afghanistan before the British annexed their territory with a sort of lease that expired recently.

Now fast forward to present time. Cause there is no time to address the murky vandalism that took place in Pakistani politics from that time to today. What do we have here now? A president who has pleaded insanity due to trauma to escape corruption charges. Perhaps assassinated his own wife too. Changed the name of his son to gain sympathy. Zardari now holds the place of Jinnah with his own bunch of boys. Who may they be? Altaf Hussain, a gangster ruling the capital of Sindh Karachi with his gang MQM. Raisani, another gangster ruling Quetta, famous for running extortion and robbing rackets. Shahbaz Sharif, yet another gangster who incorporated his gang into the state in the form of the elite force. I haven’t lived in Peshawar so will not point any fingers cause i have not experienced that region personally but I am sure a lot of other people can do that on my behalf.

What are these rulers doing? Well to quote a few things from youtube. Raisani appeared on national TV and said a degree is a degree, fake or otherwise. And that fake degrees would have no effect on his government in terms of competency because he would still be living in his own house. Whatever that means. Zardari said in Dubai to a hord of reporters asking him questions that ‘no politcs in Dubai’. While he was obviously drunk. Kind of has a similar ring to 'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’. And ofcourse you got to let a man party. He is not there via or for politics anyway. That also explains why his convoy hired hookers in Turkey as ‘female guides’. Tragedy is they forgot to pay for them and the Turkish government had to freeze the accounts of Pakistani embassy to get a payment of 8000 dollars. Our third contender Shahbaz Sharif stated on national TV that it was ok if Punajab had more than its share. Because in a family the elder brother can usually do that. So why cry about it. Last but not least, Altaf Hussain. Just youtube him man.

So when all of that is happening in front of us - on NATIONAL TV, how am i supposed to belive that our identity as Pakistanis is not a product of indulgence and fornication? We let it happen everyday after all and apparently still believe in it. I am not saying that Pakistan is a bad thing. I love it.  I just want the credit to be given where its due. Because I cant digest it anymore. I think I will be mentally much happier and it will be more congruent with reality too if we started printing our money with Hitler’s head on them. Otherwise why not print them with Balawal’s head? He has graduated from Oxford do now he pretty much has the same credentials as Jinnah, Iqbal or Liaqat and he is going to come and rule us in a few years anyway.