I saw a clip from an Ajub gul show today. Where he spies on couples. A rip off of the western style reality TV. However the disgusting programing was not what disgusted me. It was a line I heard a mother say to the guy dating her daughter. She catches the couple in a restaurant - on tv i must add - slaps the boy a couple of times and says "tumharey ghar main maan behan nahin hai?". I will let you know my opinion of the mother at the end of this piece but for now lets focus on these magical words which when spoken place you in the right and also guarantee popular support around you by any by standers.
This is the kind of shit line spoken to any boy who is trying to follow a natural and biologically quite normal desire to engage with the opposite sex in Pakistan. Most of the times it will be their own mothers imparting the same lesson in so many words, before everyone else, to install respect and modesty. Girls bank on this statement too whenever they want to push away unsolicited advances. But their lot is pretty bleak in Pakistan and I dont hold it against them because they probably use it as pepper spray to keep them safe from carnal claws.
So lets take a second and see what this statement - that is almost a metaphor for virtue - actually means and where does it derive its authority. Well in the basic implication it banks of the general human taboo of incest. No body wants to be caught fucking their our sister or mother. So the statement has some haughty authority in that sense. So when you say that to someone you imply that you are just like a mother or a sister to the guy trying to get into your pants. Idea is to make him feel ashamed and set him on his way at the same time sanctioning titles of chaste and pure for yourself. However I see something really wrong here. Do you really want a brother or a son that is only thinking about sticking it in you? Just a thought.
Another angle from which this statement holds weight is of course our beloved religion. Since we are used to layering religion into everything from going to take a dump to wiping your ass. Then why not layer this statement too with the unquestionable tone of divine logic. Whether it exists or not is a separate debate, I am just referring to the creative potential of our people to make anything look like it has everything to do with religion and nothing else. So by that token when you say this line to someone you are actually implying that he is already incestuous by expressing his interest - since all Muslims are brothers and sisters of course. Immodesty is wrong - this Islamic concept can be stretched in this case to mean. 'immodesty is like fucking your Mom and your Sis'. I am pretty sure we have heard similar anecdotes before. Like back bitting is eating flesh of dead brother. Taking interest is like fucking your mother. Now that I think of it, we really do talk a lot about fucking our mothers or how some act is like fucking our mothers. Are we that familiar with the feeling that it acts as a universal and easily understandable graphic image?? Again I say it. I find something really wrong with that.
Now to address the final issue I have with the statement. Since our bogus righteousness is legendary by now I find it extremely interesting in that light. If every boy in Pakistan, who solicits a girls is supposed to imagine her as his sister or mother before he does it, then that makes us a nation of incestuous scum. How do the same parents who drum this statement into their children, their friends and anyone who listens justify marriage after that? Would marrying your daughter off not mean that you are marrying her off to her brother? Since any boy who dared come out on his own and asked her out would have this same very line to deal with. So how do brothers and fathers transform into lovers and husbands then ? What is the point where the Pakistani boy is to stop thinking of his 'sisters' as respectful holly entities and just take his cock out to deflower them ?
It does not make sense to me. Does it to you?
So I would say to the mother slapping the boy on Tv. You are a pimp for ur daughter. Even worse. Cause you did not even feel bad about having her fucked by her brother on TV did you?? What sort of a mother are you ??
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3 comments:
if we begin to unravel these age old "pakistani-isms" we might end up dismantling the massive hypocritical fuck fests that form the intellectual bedrock for such thoughts.
this dialogue has become a catch phrase used by women to indicate the obvious .. yes Maa behen hai (yes we have mother's n daughter's) but they ain't exactly indulging in seeking a partner to pleasure themselves now are they .. what the woman should have realized before unraveling this age ol' shitty comment was her daughter is as involved as the boy is .. further analysis into this pathetic phrase reveals the dramatization of Sub Continental females through movies and dramas .. when they like a guy and want to b with him all is well .. but when a guy proposes or initiates dialogue to establish a relationship it is deemed as an outright disgusting hypocritical remark and retorted with such harangue ..
in actual fact people of the sub continent are perhaps the biggest hypocrites alive ..
I agree with the representation of those people (male OR female) who use the statement, and also of the mindset as well as unique capacity of incompletely rationalizing the logic of whatever the f*ck they say. this is but part of their general coterie of expressions, which contain mindwarped content, have a weird structure and the most messed-up presentation possible. SO MUCH for intellectual bedrock!
I think people aren't asking when they say 'terey gher maa bhen nahi hai', they might be stating a fact or something that seems like evidence to them; implicitly saying that x does not have a mother or sister in x's house, so y can't return the favour x is bestowing on y's mother or sister :p
So next time someone asks you this question, just say something like 'Nahi, donoh ghar se bhaag gayi hain' or 'Hain to sahi, lekin tumhari ma bhen ki aur hee baat hai' :p
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